Red and Green

Tomatoes are red
And green too
Embarrassed and jealous
Just like you.

You made me cry

Beneath your flaky brittle skin
Lurks a core of odoriferous sin
Beneath the layers, paper thin
I found a heart where tears begin.

Obtuse?

You said I was obtuse...



You have more than one screw loose
You have cooked more than one goose
you snore and smell like a bull moose

Does that clear it up for you?

Your Photo.

When we broke up
you asked me
to give back all the
photos I had of you.





















Here is the only one I could find.

Giving you the cold shoulder.

You said you didn't like my furry shoulders....










Do you like this cold one?

Rotten

I wood have told you how rotten you are but then you wood have fallen apart.

CUT IT OUT!

Late Carp

Here is your birthday carp...

sorry it's late.

Little Drummer Boy where art thou?

No doubt turned in to an old bummer, man...

Sunset

Gosh, I'm sorry...

but at least you got a good view
of the sunset
on your way down.

Right?

Christmas Activities Number one

Hanging the Stockings

Why?

Let us...

end this?
try that again?
see other people?
take a break/
get married?
get divorced?
break up?
call it quits?
get together?
have a salad?


The possibilities are endless...

The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the fifth day of Christmas
my true love brought to me
five old kings
and then he left
with the eight maids.

Blank Inside

Blank Inside

Dylan Thomas

Throw away your little bedsocks
and your Welsh wool knitted jacket,
I will warm the sheets like an electric toaster,
I will lie by your side like the Sunday roast.

Dylan Thomas

Blown Away

You said that
I blow you away.








Could you stay there?

Mush Room Full

Getting on.

Old hippies
never die
they just
peace out,
man.

You'd better

Look!

That's right!
You are...

Will you marry me?

Helllllllllooooooooooooooo!

Greetings!

from
one disturbed mind

to another.

For your friend? Mike

Happy Spring

Query

Footprint

...and think about my footprints heading away from your door.

If we clean up this mess it will be a better world.
It is for the greater good that I leave you.
It isn't you, it isn't me.
It is the world.
Yes, think of it that way.
We are saving the world...OK?

So...um...bye.

Tired

Sometimes...
when you're old, bald and tired...
it is difficult to get a grip on things,







but I still love you.

Swamped

Feeling a little swamped?







How can I help?

For your friend? Barb

Peas

Your Perfection

Ruff Ruff

I'll throw you a bone.

I love You

Roses are red

Roses are smelly

I'm really cute

with a soft white belly

I sit on the couch

in a comfortable slouch

I leave room for two

because I love you.

(even more than the telly!)

You say potato...

Evidence to the Contrary

Spring aren't sprung
Grass ain't riz
but at least the willows is.

On the rocks

Heart Like A Wheel

You're so vain...

you probably think these cards are about you...










don't you?